Songs In Blue

I’m sorry if some of my family finds out through this post but when I was talking to Dad he said he was about to start calling everyone! I’m just too excited to keep this in!!

My Dad went to the specialist this morning and ALS has been ruled out!!

As in, HE DOESN’T HAVE IT!

He’s going for a couple more tests tomorrow to make sure his heart isn’t causing the problem, but they’re pretty sure it’s due to a nerve in his neck.

I’m so glad that I didn’t let that disease into my mind.  I never read up on it and wasn’t going to until I knew for sure.

Dad told me that he was hoping the specialist would say he didn’t have it and I was waiting until this appointment before I made any decisions.  I’m SO GLAD I waited.  That isn’t to say that I wasn’t frantic and stressed at times (just ask Matt) but I think that had more to do with being so far away that I couldn’t do anything if there was something wrong.

Anyway, I’m just so excited!!  When I called Dad, he was at the Casino, celebrating!  I feel like I need to do something to celebrate too, but no, I’m stuck at work
At least now I can function without all that worry in the back of my mind! 

Thanks everyone for all your thoughts and prayers!! They totally worked!

Some of you got to witness the joy that is my Mother on my last post.  There once was a time where we did not get along.  AT ALL.  I know this happens with most teenage girls and their Mothers’ but our relationship was particularly bad.
 
She thought I was too much like my father, and while that may have been the case (I’ve always been a Daddy’s girl) I think the reality was that her and I were EXACTLY the same – stubborn, loud, fierce, independent, opinionated, and unwavering.
The constant power struggle worsened with my parents’ divorce, during which I was given a lot of responsibility and had to grow up fast.  One phrase echoed through my teenage years, “I’m the parent. You’re the child.”
 
My Mom also scared the livin’ bejeezus out of me.  I realize now that this was a very good thing because it stopped me from doing anything bad.  I knew she would catch me and had no desire to find out the consequences. 
The ONE TIME I decided to be all badass was when I was 17.  I got one of my older friends to buy me ciders (like I said, badass) and I proceeded to drink half…of one. 
That’s it. 
I hid the rest (don’t know why I didn’t just throw them out) for about a month in my room then brought them along to a house I was looking after so my abovementioned friend could drink them.
Before he had the chance, I came home from work to find Mom sitting on the couch, ciders in hand.  Pretty sure my heart stopped at that moment.
 
Our relationship started to get better after I graduated, and now she’s one of my favourite people in the world.  We talk every week at length (something I never thought would be possible).  She listens and gives good advice.  She’s hilarious, proven by her comments on my last post and her emails.  This one is still my favourite:

Above all that, she’s crazy (in a good way).  And I love her.

I usually call home every week or 2 to check in with the fam.  It would be a little less frequent if people (Mom) were more helpful with their replies to my emails.
Case in point, Mom’s response when I asked for her curry rice recipe:

At least she’s always good for a laugh.

Anyway, talking to my sister on the phone is like pulling teeth.
I’ll ask her what’s new, she’ll say “nothing”.
I’ll ask her how school’s going, she’ll say “good”.
Then I’ll ask if there’s anything she wants to talk about, she says “no”, so I ask to talk to mom.

Everyone else I talk to back home goes on and on about how much she misses me! In my mind, if you miss someone, you talk to them every chance you get.

But Courtney has always been an ‘actions speak louder than words’ kind of person and proved it again today.

This morning I got another oh-so-informative email from Mom saying that Courtney had done a portrait of me (it’s like 2 feet high!) for Art and it was featured in the school foyer.  Of course, I had to see it so Courtney emailed a picture.
She’s so sweet, I may or may not have cried.

I miss you too, Courtney.**
**Although, I won’t show it in the form of artwork since 5-year olds are more artisically inclined than I am and whatever I managed to create would probably just be insulting.

Last night, Matt was saying how he no longer had a huge desire to live in a different country after he was chartered.  He wanted to stay here in NZ and settle into a career, get a house and all that life stuff.  I mentioned that I wanted to do the same, that I didn’t really want to live overseas, I’d rather just go for holidays.
I honestly didn’t even realize what I had said until Matt pointed it out.

I already live overseas!

This is not where I was born, this is not where my family is, this is not where I’ve spent most of my life.  But I still seem to forget all that.  It’s hard to explain how I feel about living here, and even if I could find the words, it would be hard for people to understand.

Back in Canada, I had no idea what I was doing and just felt lost and confused.  I didn’t feel like I had a place there or that I belonged.  I knew before I left that I was doing the right thing in moving to NZ, amid all my worrying and concerns other people brought up.  It’s been 5 months now and I haven’t regretted it once.

The only thing I miss about Canada is my family, and even that isn’t a big deal because I talk to them every couple weeks and know that I’m just a long plane ride away.  I’m not going to lie, it took a couple months to adjust to the idea of being here long term, but now I feel completely settled and happy.  I have an awesome boyfriend, love my job and am starting to get some sweet friends.  I want to have a career, get a car and a house, and continue to build a life here.
I feel like I’ve been in this country forever and don’t want to leave.  That may seem like a contradiction to my last post, but while I am still proud to say I’m Canadian, New Zealand is where I feel at home.

I had an awesome Christmas! Yeah, it was a little weird with the nice hot weather and hearing stories of the massive snow fall back home, but it was so much fun!
The morning started with breakfast and opening presents.  I got a beach bag/towel and the sweetest gift EVER from Matt.  I wasn’t expecting anything from him since he already put some money towards my camera, but he got me a photo album and filled it with photos of my friends and family.  A note in it said, “Just in case you miss your family. Love, Matt” and the album ended with a photo of us.  I may or may not have cried.  Dude did good!

After that, we mostly hung out and watched movies then started getting dinner and drinks ready.  A few of Matt’s extended family came over for the meal and the night ended at 1am with *mostly* everyone playing SingStar (new favourite game).  I have a bunch of photos up on flickr, so go check them out!

Tomorrow we start our road trip to Mt Maunganui!  6 days on a beach…there are no words to describe how excited I am.  It’ll be so nice to chill for a week before having to go back to work.  I’m sure I’ll have a ton of photos to make you all jealous when I get back.

Only one week of NaBloPoMo left…thank God.  It hasn’t been too bad and I’ll probably keep updating often, but every day is a bit much for me.  Plus, I don’t want to bore everyone to death with these posts I come up with.  Next year, I’ll prepare a bit better!

It’s been almost three months since I arrived in NZ.  I can’t believe it’s been that long, but at the same time it feels like I’ve been here forever!  I’m starting to get a little homesick now, especially with the holidays coming up but I’m not going to lie, I love living here.  I was so worried before I left that things would back fire, or I wouldn’t like it here…obviously it was a big decision to make, and I didn’t take it lightly.  But no matter how much sleep I lost, I always knew that I was doing the right thing…and it paid off.  Of course I miss my family and friends, but with the internet and everything it’s so easy to stay in touch that it barely feels like I’m living in another country.

The truth is, I never had a reason to doubt…everything is better that I could’ve expected it.  I don’t want to be cheesy here, there’s obviously annoyances that come with work and life in general, but I’ve honestly never been happier.

One of the perks of living in a different time zone is being able to have 2 days of birthday fun!  Here in NZ, my birthday was yesterday, but back home in Canada it’s the 29th today which meant I woke up to a full inbox of birthday wishes.

Although that was pretty great, I’m not sure what tops waking up to your boyfriend giving you diamond earrings…I KNOW!  He’s all kinds of awesome!
Look how pretty:

They go perfectly with the 7 other earrings I have in my ears at any given time (heh), see?

I want another piercing now…

After that lovely gift, Marissa called me!  I told her that I wasn’t up to much since it was Monday and that’s a hard day for birthday planning.  She responded with, “Well, what about having your birthday right after Jesus’! How do you live up to that?” Ahh, isn’t she grand?

Then I got to talk to my mom, Courtney, and Chad.  It was a little short because I was meeting Matt for lunch, but still good.  Skype makes staying in contact so easy and so free! (There’s my plug, now…where’s my money )

When Matt came home, he cooked me an amazing dinner and my flatmates gave me a sweet Maori handbook and classic Kiwi movie.

After dinner, (and with the help of birthday brownies) I prepared for my interview and Matt did some work.  Turns out the company I’m interviewing with is a client of his, so he gave me a crash course in PIE tax and Prescribed Investor Rate and showed me some formulas he had learnt in excel….cause we’re cool like that.
Then it was bed at 9:30 (again, cool).

That perfect day plus today’s overwhelming birthday love has made this pretty much the best birthday ever.

The last time I left for a long term trip, I was going for something new.  I wanted to experience other places, and have fun doing it.  I was going to ‘play’ as my mom called it (and play I did).
I only cried once.  It was the night before I left and after having spent the last few months planning and getting excited, I had a “What the hell am I doing?” moment and broke down on my dad’s deck.

This time it’s different.

I’m going to work, pay rent, live (I’ll a bit play too) – basically the same thing I’d be doing here, but in a different country.  Of course I’ve been excited to go, but I’ve been equally sad this time around too and it’s made saying goodbye even harder (with a lot more tears).

At least it was until I walked off the ferry this evening. I realized there’s nothing left to plan or organize, and only one more goodbye to get through…everything’s DONE! I don’t have to worry and can just be excited!

I get to go on a 16 hour flight with airplane food and my own mini tv! I’m aware that most people don’t look forward to those things, but I was raised on an airport – it’s in my blood.
Then I get to see Matt, live with Kiwis, and have a fresh start in a country I LOVE.  So I’m in no way complaining, even if leaving my family and friends has made me cry more in the last 3 days then the last 3 years. 

This post will be very random which is a pretty accurate description of my brain’s current state.

Life is getting really insane right now.   My flight isn’t until Wednesday night, but I’m leaving the coast tomorrow afternoon and will be spending the night at my dad’s.  It’s just easier to go in the night before and not have to worry about ferries being late, plus I get to have dinner with Danielle and hang out with Dad and Gail.  The only problem is that I leave my house in less than 24 hours, and still haven’t packed.  Go. Me.

************

Last night was Lance’s 19th birthday.  The dude’s awesome!  He lives up in the Okanagan with our sister, so it’s always good times when he comes down to the coast for a visit.  We went out for dinner at the pub with mom, Lance’s friend Seth (who also turned 19 this week), and Seth’s parents.  After dinner we all went to our house for birthday cake and some presents then it was back to the pub for some drinks and free pool with friends.

************

I’m adding another project to my never ending list of things to do.  That might seem a little backwards, I know, but I like to have a lot of things on my plate.  This is really just to force myself to put (and keep) equal attention on each thing because if I don’t…it’ll all fall a part.  I do enjoy a good balancing act.
I’ve signed up with Bluehost.com to start hosting my own site!  And I have no idea what I’m doing! Actually, the first couple problems I experienced had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with my domain being transferred from my sister’s account.  All that’s sorted now, so when I get a few minutes of free time *cough*good luck*cough* I’ll get my site looking all pretty and hopefully, fully functional.  Cause it’s not all about looks right?

************

Speaking of being hot, I made the final vote for the Hot Blogger Calendar!  I find the whole thing more funny than anything, but it is my first blog-related contest so I’m kinda excited to see what happens with it.  I’ve already been told that I’d be the hottest person there, but that was from my boyfriend and he may be a little biased.  Anyway, you only get to vote for ONE chick, so it’d be sweet if you voted for me   There’s a button on my sidebar – GO VOTE FOR ME!

That’s my bed.  I’m not posting this picture for any other reason but to set the scene for what is so far, the most terrifying moment of my life.

It all started at about 1am, Sunday morning.  I had only been home for a couple hours and was sitting on my bed, typing off a quick email to Matt before I called it a night.

Most of you know I also share a room with my little bro (Chad), due to lack of space in my mom’s house and my stay here only being temporary.  His bed is to the left, and a few feet up from mine, since I’m kinda tucked into a corner.  Anyway, our room was extremely warm and humid thanks to the weather we’ve been having lately, so Chad asked me to open the window (see above photo).

This prompted the following conversation:

Me: “I don’t really like sleeping with my window open.”
Chad: “Why not?”
“I don’t know…I always get scared that somethings going to rip through the screen and get into the room, and I’ll be the first victim.”
“Uhh, ok….”

Chad usually falls asleep listening to his Mp3 player, so once our chat was over, he put his head phones back on.

Not 2 minutes later, I hear the loudest growl/snarl/roar RIGHT OUTSIDE MY NOW OPEN WINDOW.
I froze.  Chad heard it too, and ripped off his headphones just in time to hear me say in a frantic whisper,
“THIS is why I don’t sleep with my window open.”
As soon as he realized I wasn’t the one who made the noise (thanks dude, I’m not THAT loud), he instantly knew what was out there,
“Oh my God, that’s a freaking bear.”

So I’m lying frozen under the OPEN WINDOW, Chad’s in his bed absolutely FRANTIC, and we can both still hear the thing grunting and sniffing around right outside.
I have 2 choices.  I can either stay frozen, let the bear get in, and proceed to be MAULED…OR I can close the window.
In what felt like forever, I reached my hand up to the window and SLAMMED it closed as loud and hard as I could, hoping in would scare the bear away.  Then we both leapt out of our beds and ran out into the living room, only to stop suddenly when we realized every. single. window. in our house was wide open.
So we rush around closing them all (of course, Chad left the ones closest to where the bear had been for me), then ran upstairs to get mom.

At that point, I let myself start freaking out.  I had so much adrenaline going through me and my legs were shaking so bad, I thought I would fall over…but I was also laughing!  Even though I was scared out of my mind, it was probably the most fun I ever had too.  Chad dealt with his rush in the same manner as he usually does, by talking…A LOT!

Once we got back to our room, Chad asked me how I worked up the nerve to close the window, cause he didn’t think he would be able to do it.  I reassured him that it wasn’t that easy, and I nearly wet myself in the process, but it was a hell of a lot better than the alternative.