Songs In Blue

I’ve had a whirlwind beginning to the new year with a whole bunch of new, exciting, and nerve wracking experiences happening almost everyday.
My main concern has been Dad and whattheheck I was gong to do if ALS was confirmed. Thank God it wasn’t!  One thing I know is that I am in no way ready to lose a parent (not that I’ll ever be).  There’s still a lot of things I want to do while they’re still alive, like have my Dad walk me down the aisle, give them (more) grandchildren, travel with them, and make up for my teenage years. Ha!

The older I get, the more I feel like I need them to be on the other line when I call.  I’m so grateful for the wisdom they give me and the openness we now share.  It really is awesome to have a functioning relationship with both my Mom and Dad after everything we’ve been through.

I know now that they’re my parents for a reason and I wouldn’t trade them for ANYTHING!

I’m sorry if some of my family finds out through this post but when I was talking to Dad he said he was about to start calling everyone! I’m just too excited to keep this in!!

My Dad went to the specialist this morning and ALS has been ruled out!!

As in, HE DOESN’T HAVE IT!

He’s going for a couple more tests tomorrow to make sure his heart isn’t causing the problem, but they’re pretty sure it’s due to a nerve in his neck.

I’m so glad that I didn’t let that disease into my mind.  I never read up on it and wasn’t going to until I knew for sure.

Dad told me that he was hoping the specialist would say he didn’t have it and I was waiting until this appointment before I made any decisions.  I’m SO GLAD I waited.  That isn’t to say that I wasn’t frantic and stressed at times (just ask Matt) but I think that had more to do with being so far away that I couldn’t do anything if there was something wrong.

Anyway, I’m just so excited!!  When I called Dad, he was at the Casino, celebrating!  I feel like I need to do something to celebrate too, but no, I’m stuck at work
At least now I can function without all that worry in the back of my mind! 

Thanks everyone for all your thoughts and prayers!! They totally worked!

It’s pretty overwhelming when complete strangers take the time to send some love our way.  Thank you, everyone, for your kind words, I’ve really appreciated them.

This is new territory for me so I’m not sure how to handle it.  I think there’s going to be a lot of unwanted change over the next few months that will take some adjusting, but I just want to enjoy NOW and worry about what’s next LATER (much like my Dad).  Matt is the polar opposite and just wants to know what’s going to happen already!  That’s just another way we balance each other out. 
All I know right now is that I’m hoping to get to Vancouver for a visit early March for Spring vacation.

I’m not about to go sit in a corner feeling sorry for myself.  My dad’s not!  He’s planning on going on a Caribbean cruise with his wife (or soon to be, they’re getting married while there) in February! I told him he should go swimming with sharks and he said he would if he could!
That’s not to say that this last week hasn’t had an effect on me (I’m pretty sure I’ve cried more than I have in the last 2 years) but things happen, you deal with it and life goes on.  So we’re still going on our South Island trip, and it’ll be relaxing and fun, DAMMIT! Cause if it isn’t, I might go insane…I also want to do something that gives me a rush, so I’m thinking Bungy jumping. 

Before that, we’ll be spending Christmas at Matt’s Mom’s house.  This year there’s only 6 of us, but I’m sure it’ll be fun – his family is pretty great! Hopefully, the weather stays nice so we can sit on the deck and soak up the sun.

So yeah, that’s where I’m at right now – taking things as they come and hoping it all works out in the end.

Merry Christmas!

Hours after writing that last post, I got a phone call from my Daddy.  I’ve written a few times about him but hardly enough.  I don’t think I could ever write enough words to describe how much he means to me.  And I won’t try, right now, because it would take too long and I just want to get this out.

My Dad’s been off work for a few weeks now because he’s lost feeling and strength in his arm.  Since he drives bus for a living, he didn’t want to risk losing all feeling while behind the wheel.  Originally, he thought it had something to do with discs in his neck messing up his nerves and got an MRI the other day.

He called to let me know that he’s been diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease or ALS.  I’ve only read the first sentence of that site and I’m not ready to read more so I really can’t tell you much about it.  The only thing I care about is there’s no cure and the doctors say my Daddy only has two to five years.

I’m still trying to process it all, so I don’t have much else to say right now except,

I love you, Dad.