By the time we got down to where the parade was being held, it was pretty busy and the only way we could watch was by climbing a nearby tree…

Speaking of Grandma, I spent a week with her after writing my last post. It was actually the first time I’d ever had a solo visit with her! Usually I have at least one sibling or my Mom in tow.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, my Grandma is AWESOME. We had many good chats and I learnt so many new things about her that made me respect her so much more. She’s been through so much in her life and I’m just in awe of how strong she is. She also gave a lot of good advice and wisdom that has helped me a lot.

I hope to be like her when I grow up.

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My next big trip was to see my sister, Angella, and her family. The last time I saw the kidlets, Emily was 18 months. She’s almost FOUR now!
Angella and Matthew went to Las Vegas for their 10 year (!) anniversary and I had the pleasure of looking after the kids for them! Even when Emily woke me up at 2:30 in the morning just to tell me she had cracked her toe, or when Graham was up for hours with a sore stomach, or when Nathan asked me questions I had just answered, I had SO MUCH FUN looking after them!
In fact, they’re more like 3 miniature friends than kids. They’re all old enough that you can proper conversations with them, and they said so many crazy things I’m sure I spent the majority of the time laughing til I couldn’t breathe.

I was a bit of an idiot and accidentally deleted most of the pictures I took while there, but I’ll post the ones I do have later on.

Also while I was there, I played Rock Band for the first time. I got pretty hooked and would stay up til midnight playing it even though I knew I’d be getting up at 6am. Lance pulled the plug one night when he noticed that my eyes had gone red from playing so much. Fair enough.

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So now, I’m back at Dad’s. I finally got work as a temporary receptionist for 2 weeks! I answer the phone and send out packages (heh) and that’s pretty much it…
At least it’s given me a lot of time to think and work on my spreadheets (which look awesome btw)!
In the (almost) 2 months (!) I’ve been back, I’ve sent out hundreds of resumes and had ONE other response besides this temp job. I knew it was going to be hard to find work, I just didn’t think it would be this bad.
That other response has resulted in a job, but that’s a whole other post in itself…

I went to TequilaCon on Saturday which was a bunch of bloggers getting together to hang out, meet new people, wear mustaches, and have (in my case) one tequila shot. But the main reason I went was so I could see my sister, Angella, for the first time since coming home! Needless to say, we were a little excited to see each other!!

I actually ended up going home around 8:30pm because (I’m a nana, and) I  had a late night the day before (by late, I mean midnight). Since I (stupidly) didn’t bring my camera, you should take a look at Angella and Kerrianne’s posts/photos to see me rockin’ the ‘stache more than a few times!

Tomorrow, I’m catching the ferry to go see my Grandma on the island. I’ve talked about her Awesomeness before so I’m really looking forward to spending a week with her!!

One last thing, the hockey game tonight? Was brilliant! And the Canucks are going to Round 2! (More hockey for me!!)

My mom offered to pay for Matt and I to fly up to Canada then take us to Mexico for her birthday NEXT WEEK.  She had good intentions (obviously, it’s her 50th and she wants me there for it) but I just ended up really stressed out about the whole thing.  It was a lot of information to take in over the course of 3 days! 
 I ultimately said no because, a) we’ve had a trip to the South Island (leaving on my mom’s birthday) planned for 6 months and we’d have to cancel everything, and b) it was too last minute and the flight prices were INSANE.  There’s no way I could let my mom (who’s on a solo income as a school bus driver) spend that kind of money.  I would just feel so guilty about it. 
Trust me, it was a really hard decision to make!   It’s my family and I don’t see them often (or at all, with the whole ‘living on the other side of the world’ thing) and I want to make them happy.  I hate disappointing people.  But yeah, after lost sleep and tears (Matt got to witness the Ugly Cry a few times, awesome.) I’m ok with everything.  A trip to Canada might still be in my near future but I’ll talk about that as soon as I get some more info.

Three weeks ago, I went to my first Tweetup. Which I guess, officially makes me a nerd  but  I’m ok with that.  It was quite fun and great to meet new people which was something I felt I needed to do. 
Anyway, a few of the girls there decided we should have a Ladies Night.  So  Wednesday  night about 10 of us met at a bar for a few drinks then headed to a comedy gig!  A lot of conversation, laughter, and maybe a little too much wine was had by all – it was exactly what I needed (minus the hangover/going to work  in the  morning (Hi Mom and Dad!)).
One of the highlights for me was FINALLY meeting Alex who’s blog I’ve been reading for about 2 years now.  She’s originally from the UK (and has a lovely accent) but moved here almost a year ago with her Kiwi boyfriend.  ALL the girls are absolutely amazing and I can’t wait until we get together again!  Next time, I’ll bring my camera.

As I said earlier, Matt and I are going to the South Island for 2 weeks!  We’ve got a pretty awesome trip planned – full of walks, kayaking, and lying on the beach (if the weather gets better)!  One of the places we’re staying has free internet so I’ll make sure to post a few pictures.  I thought I’d see if anyone was interested in Guest Posting while I’m away? I have 6 dates up for grabs so leave a comment or email me if you’re interested!

I could blame it on that time of the month or ‘eww’ as Matt likes to call it, but the fact is, it’s more than that.

I feel stifled.

I feel like I have to edit every aspect of my life so people only get the side of me they want. I’m a peacemaker. I hate confrontation and always want to make people happy. I put everyone’s needs in front of my own and while some may consider that a good thing, it may also be my downfall.

This is the main reason my posting has been boring and/or non-existent. I used to use my blog as an outlet. I could write about whatever I wanted, however I wanted.
Writing, for me, is therapeutic. It keeps me sane and reminds me to open up about how I feel.
But a while ago, I started getting negative comments about it. Then I started to get negative comments about my life in general. And finally, I felt like every time I want to vent or say how I feel, no one wanted to hear it.

So I did the only thing I knew would avoid these situations, and shut up. I’ve been holding everything in and this week I reached the end of my rope. I took a day off yesterday, just to avoid having a nervous breakdown at work.

I know this is all a bit heavy and trust me; it’s really hard to write. The truth is, I love my life and every aspect of it.

I would not change a thing.

But I want to be real. I’m frustrated with myself for letting things get to this point.
This isn’t me. My friends and family rely on my honesty and transparency and apparently, so do I. I don’t want to hide things about myself because I’m afraid of being judged.
I’ve started to see it affect my relationships and that scares me. I don’t want to lose Matt and other people I care about because I couldn’t get my shit together.

At the risk of sounding self centred, I like me…I think I’m a pretty cool person. I want to share what’s going on in my life because it’s pretty awesome!

So be patient with me as I attempt the surprisingly difficult task of getting my blogging mojo back.

Matt and I booked a trip to Sydney for May 28th – June 3!!!  Neither of us have been before, so we’re pretty excited!
Our flights, 6 nights hotel and a harbour cruise cost about $1000 each…not bad at all.  We’re going to book a Blue Mountains tour, but if you’ve been and there’s something we have to do, let me know!
The Harbour Bridge Climb is also being considered.

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I’ve been working without a contract for over a week now.  Apparently, it’s been approved but went to New York to be finalized.  My company likes to process simple tasks overseas and while that may save resources it’s a big pain, not to mention a big FAIL when it comes to efficiency.
I’m really frustrated by it all especially since I’ve been asking for an extension since January.

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I’ve never fallen off the Canucks bandwagon.  However, being in a different country (one who calls hockey, ‘ice hockey’ (so wrong)) has made paying attention to the regular season VERY DIFFICULT.   That being said, there’s no way I’d miss the playoffs.  I’ve been listening to the games online, then watching the highlights once they’re up on the Canucks website. 
Not quite the same, but it’ll have to do.
I’m pretty impressed with the run so far, but (and don’t hate me) I’m trying not to let my hopes get too high.  It’s hard though, since they’re playing really well!

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Fall/Winter is definitely here.  It’s still nice and sunny for the most part, but it is chilly.  Nothing compared to Canada, but I’d much rather it be warm all year round!

What’s new with you?