Some of you got to witness the joy that is my Mother on my last post. There once was a time where we did not get along. AT ALL. I know this happens with most teenage girls and their Mothers’ but our relationship was particularly bad.
She thought I was too much like my father, and while that may have been the case (I’ve always been a Daddy’s girl) I think the reality was that her and I were EXACTLY the same – stubborn, loud, fierce, independent, opinionated, and unwavering.
The constant power struggle worsened with my parents’ divorce, during which I was given a lot of responsibility and had to grow up fast. One phrase echoed through my teenage years, “I’m the parent. You’re the child.”
My Mom also scared the livin’ bejeezus out of me. I realize now that this was a very good thing because it stopped me from doing anything bad. I knew she would catch me and had no desire to find out the consequences.
The ONE TIME I decided to be all badass was when I was 17. I got one of my older friends to buy me ciders (like I said, badass) and I proceeded to drink half…of one.
That’s it.
I hid the rest (don’t know why I didn’t just throw them out) for about a month in my room then brought them along to a house I was looking after so my abovementioned friend could drink them.
Before he had the chance, I came home from work to find Mom sitting on the couch, ciders in hand. Pretty sure my heart stopped at that moment.
Our relationship started to get better after I graduated, and now she’s one of my favourite people in the world. We talk every week at length (something I never thought would be possible). She listens and gives good advice. She’s hilarious, proven by her comments on my last post and her emails. This one is still my favourite:
Above all that, she’s crazy (in a good way). And I love her.
I remember that comment on your blog (the recipe one). I totally laughed out loud. Your Mom seems like a pretty neat (and funny) person; I’m glad you guys get along now. At the end of the day, a lot of mother/daughter relationships are strained during the teenage years, but nearly ALWAYS get better. And I think once you’ve had kids of your own it steps up to an even better level
Hannah´s last blog ..Berry Sweet
I had to Twitter about Mom’s comments because they were tres awesome.
Miss you!!
Angella´s last blog ..My Empty Nest
Words to my daughter – awwwwww, thanks and I love you!
You have just exactly described my relationship with my father – down to the same personality traits as each other! And now we get on well, he gives me good advice. I used to go to my mum for advice (we have a great relationship), but now I go to him because mum just says things like ‘it’ll be alright dear’, whereas dad has some really wise and constructive words.
I used to tell him I hated him, and I felt that way from a VERY young age – for as long as I can remember. He once told me he loved me but he didn’t like me. To be honest it took me until just the last couple of years to stop actually hating his presence and to let him ‘in’ without feeling animosity towards him. Funny how things change. But he did use to be such an angry person – he had some counselling for it and has mellowed over the years so he is a different person to how I knew him as a child.
He used to scare the living bejeezus out of me too – he used to shout the house down when he was angry with me and I’d have nightmares where he was screaming at me and the house would shake. He was never like that with my brother – my brother is very much like my mum (laid back), whereas I would give as good as I got in an argument so we would argue for hours, neither of us backing down. My mum and my brother hated it – the atmosphere in our house was awful when we were both there. Christmas was a shitty time because we’d HAVE to spend the day together and we’d ALWAYS find something to have a shouting match about. Sometimes my dad would act as childish as me though and instead of ending the argument like an adult, he’d keep riling me!
Point is, we’re making up for it now and I’m happy to finally feel he is a positive presence in my life. Yeah he still annoys me for random reasons but now I’m an adult I can learn just to let it go and laugh it off, or at least understand the way he is because I am EXACTLY the same myself (I like to think I’m a slightly improved version though).
It’s nice to see your mum acknowledge your relationship changes though (by commenting above) – my dad is very private (probably very proud too) so he’d never want me to talk about our relationship in my blog without feeling very upset about it. Even though we’re in a good place now, he’s never acknowledged how we used to be or apologised for it. The only sign I have that he realises he was a pretty awful person to be around was my Uncle telling me my dad confided in him that he was sorry he shouted so much when I was growing up. I know he loves me AND likes me now though, so I won’t dwell on it.
And there you have my life story…
Alexbettylou´s last blog ..DEJECTED
thanks for shairng the journey your relationship with your mom has taken.
she is funny.
thanks, also, for your visit over at my place. your words are very kind.