Songs In Blue

I’ve had a whirlwind beginning to the new year with a whole bunch of new, exciting, and nerve wracking experiences happening almost everyday.
My main concern has been Dad and whattheheck I was gong to do if ALS was confirmed. Thank God it wasn’t!  One thing I know is that I am in no way ready to lose a parent (not that I’ll ever be).  There’s still a lot of things I want to do while they’re still alive, like have my Dad walk me down the aisle, give them (more) grandchildren, travel with them, and make up for my teenage years. Ha!

The older I get, the more I feel like I need them to be on the other line when I call.  I’m so grateful for the wisdom they give me and the openness we now share.  It really is awesome to have a functioning relationship with both my Mom and Dad after everything we’ve been through.

I know now that they’re my parents for a reason and I wouldn’t trade them for ANYTHING!

I’m sorry if some of my family finds out through this post but when I was talking to Dad he said he was about to start calling everyone! I’m just too excited to keep this in!!

My Dad went to the specialist this morning and ALS has been ruled out!!

As in, HE DOESN’T HAVE IT!

He’s going for a couple more tests tomorrow to make sure his heart isn’t causing the problem, but they’re pretty sure it’s due to a nerve in his neck.

I’m so glad that I didn’t let that disease into my mind.  I never read up on it and wasn’t going to until I knew for sure.

Dad told me that he was hoping the specialist would say he didn’t have it and I was waiting until this appointment before I made any decisions.  I’m SO GLAD I waited.  That isn’t to say that I wasn’t frantic and stressed at times (just ask Matt) but I think that had more to do with being so far away that I couldn’t do anything if there was something wrong.

Anyway, I’m just so excited!!  When I called Dad, he was at the Casino, celebrating!  I feel like I need to do something to celebrate too, but no, I’m stuck at work
At least now I can function without all that worry in the back of my mind! 

Thanks everyone for all your thoughts and prayers!! They totally worked!

I’ve had a lot of weekends away exploring this amazing country I’ve come to call home and traveled as far away as Sydney, but most of my time in 2009 was spent settling.  Settling into living away from family, my relationship with Matt and really, just life in general.  I also learned a lot about myself, got (somewhat) out of debt and even lost some weight!  I’ve done a lot and had a lot happen to me in my short 22 years and it was nice to have a bit of a rest year.

However, I think it may have been another calm before yet another storm.  What I didn’t mention in my last post is that in addition to my Dad having ALS, my Mom was also waiting for results from a scan.  She’s ok, so that’s good news, but it’s made me think of what’s next for me.

Luckily, I’m currently on a very relaxing holiday in the South Island with Matt.  We’ve been swimming, lying on the beach, taking lots of photographs (that I can’t upload now) and reading (The Lovely Bones for me, and James Bond for him).  Yesterday we went on an absolutely beautiful 5 hour coastal walk which left us both blistered and sore this morning.  Totally worth it though.  Tonight we’re going to ring in the New Year with dinner and drinks, just the two of us.

Hopefully, by the end of this trip I’ll have decided what my next move is but no matter what happens in the next year, I can take it.

So 2010, bring it on.

It’s pretty overwhelming when complete strangers take the time to send some love our way.  Thank you, everyone, for your kind words, I’ve really appreciated them.

This is new territory for me so I’m not sure how to handle it.  I think there’s going to be a lot of unwanted change over the next few months that will take some adjusting, but I just want to enjoy NOW and worry about what’s next LATER (much like my Dad).  Matt is the polar opposite and just wants to know what’s going to happen already!  That’s just another way we balance each other out. 
All I know right now is that I’m hoping to get to Vancouver for a visit early March for Spring vacation.

I’m not about to go sit in a corner feeling sorry for myself.  My dad’s not!  He’s planning on going on a Caribbean cruise with his wife (or soon to be, they’re getting married while there) in February! I told him he should go swimming with sharks and he said he would if he could!
That’s not to say that this last week hasn’t had an effect on me (I’m pretty sure I’ve cried more than I have in the last 2 years) but things happen, you deal with it and life goes on.  So we’re still going on our South Island trip, and it’ll be relaxing and fun, DAMMIT! Cause if it isn’t, I might go insane…I also want to do something that gives me a rush, so I’m thinking Bungy jumping. 

Before that, we’ll be spending Christmas at Matt’s Mom’s house.  This year there’s only 6 of us, but I’m sure it’ll be fun – his family is pretty great! Hopefully, the weather stays nice so we can sit on the deck and soak up the sun.

So yeah, that’s where I’m at right now – taking things as they come and hoping it all works out in the end.

Merry Christmas!

Hours after writing that last post, I got a phone call from my Daddy.  I’ve written a few times about him but hardly enough.  I don’t think I could ever write enough words to describe how much he means to me.  And I won’t try, right now, because it would take too long and I just want to get this out.

My Dad’s been off work for a few weeks now because he’s lost feeling and strength in his arm.  Since he drives bus for a living, he didn’t want to risk losing all feeling while behind the wheel.  Originally, he thought it had something to do with discs in his neck messing up his nerves and got an MRI the other day.

He called to let me know that he’s been diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease or ALS.  I’ve only read the first sentence of that site and I’m not ready to read more so I really can’t tell you much about it.  The only thing I care about is there’s no cure and the doctors say my Daddy only has two to five years.

I’m still trying to process it all, so I don’t have much else to say right now except,

I love you, Dad.

Ahh, the much needed update post.  One day I’ll make myself get into a routine of posting, although I wasn’t doing too bad until 3 weeks ago.  Don’t have much of an excuse except that there’s been a lot on my mind that I couldn’t really put into words.  But let’s recap, shall we?

My mom offered to pay for Matt and I to fly up to Canada then take us to Mexico for her birthday NEXT WEEK.  She had good intentions (obviously, it’s her 50th and she wants me there for it) but I just ended up really stressed out about the whole thing.  It was a lot of information to take in over the course of 3 days! 
 I ultimately said no because, a) we’ve had a trip to the South Island (leaving on my mom’s birthday) planned for 6 months and we’d have to cancel everything, and b) it was too last minute and the flight prices were INSANE.  There’s no way I could let my mom (who’s on a solo income as a school bus driver) spend that kind of money.  I would just feel so guilty about it. 
Trust me, it was a really hard decision to make!   It’s my family and I don’t see them often (or at all, with the whole ‘living on the other side of the world’ thing) and I want to make them happy.  I hate disappointing people.  But yeah, after lost sleep and tears (Matt got to witness the Ugly Cry a few times, awesome.) I’m ok with everything.  A trip to Canada might still be in my near future but I’ll talk about that as soon as I get some more info.

Three weeks ago, I went to my first Tweetup. Which I guess, officially makes me a nerd  but  I’m ok with that.  It was quite fun and great to meet new people which was something I felt I needed to do. 
Anyway, a few of the girls there decided we should have a Ladies Night.  So  Wednesday  night about 10 of us met at a bar for a few drinks then headed to a comedy gig!  A lot of conversation, laughter, and maybe a little too much wine was had by all – it was exactly what I needed (minus the hangover/going to work  in the  morning (Hi Mom and Dad!)).
One of the highlights for me was FINALLY meeting Alex who’s blog I’ve been reading for about 2 years now.  She’s originally from the UK (and has a lovely accent) but moved here almost a year ago with her Kiwi boyfriend.  ALL the girls are absolutely amazing and I can’t wait until we get together again!  Next time, I’ll bring my camera.

As I said earlier, Matt and I are going to the South Island for 2 weeks!  We’ve got a pretty awesome trip planned – full of walks, kayaking, and lying on the beach (if the weather gets better)!  One of the places we’re staying has free internet so I’ll make sure to post a few pictures.  I thought I’d see if anyone was interested in Guest Posting while I’m away? I have 6 dates up for grabs so leave a comment or email me if you’re interested!

I’ve finally got around to answering the last couple of questions that people asked me (months ago).  Raul, Sharon and Lance – thanks for the questions!

Matt, what is the best quality you’ve found in Dayna?

The best quality I’ve found in Dayna is her passion – whether it’s being passionate about travel, family, friends, photography, writing, sharks, funny dance moves or anything else.  I think quite a few people go through life without this passion and without really enjoying it as much as they could.

Dayna definitely doesn’t fall within this category – she approaches life with a lot of passion and energy that makes being around her really fun and she’s just a fun person to be with because of this.  

If you were to re-live your first encounter, how would it be?

I really liked our first encounter so I’m going to have to be lame and say I wouldn’t change a thing. 

What’s your definition of a perfect relationship?

Tough question and one that I am really not qualified in any way to answer.  Not that that’ll stop me…

OK, so I don’t really know if you could have a “perfect” relationship (that sounds really boring anyway) but I think a “really good” relationship needs to be built around honesty, being able to talk openly about everything and being completely comfortable with someone.  I also think having similar goals in life is really important.

This is assuming of course that two people are attracted two each other and are at roughly the same stage of life e.g. Hugh Hefner can talk openly and be as honest as he wants but dating 20-year old twins (plus another 23-year old girl) is just never going to be part of a perfect relationship…although it may be perfect from his perspective.  And yes, I do watch too much bad reality TV shows - I blame Dayna.

If you were stuck on a desert island, and could only bring 3 things with you (food and water is there, conveniently), and you can’t bring transportation to get you away from there, what would you bring and why?

I’m pretty social and get bored quickly when I’m by myself so I’d love to take some friends with me but I’m going to assume they don’t meet the definition of “things”.  For my benefit I’m also going to assume that the island has a lake that freezes over in winter and electricity – without which some of my choices below become pretty boring (it can be a modern island right?). 

So I would probably go with the following:

1) A laptop with internet and speakers – so I can listen to music, keep in touch over the internet etc.

2) A set of ice skates – because I’ve tried skating once and I was terrible.  I figure learning to skate would entertain me for a good decade and give me something to do after that.  And I haven’t been to the dentist since I was seventeen so I may need a skate to perform some minor dental surgery at some point too.

3) A Wilson volleyball – to keep me company because Tom Hanks would not have got through Castaway without his buddy Wilson and I think I’ll need an imaginary buddy too.

What is the one thing you want to do most before you die?

Well, if I assume that I’m going to live at least a few more decades, the first answer that comes to mind is having children some time between now and death.

If I changed the scenario slightly and I only had twelve months to live then the one thing I would want to do before I died would be to travel the world and see all the places I haven’t got to yet. 

What is your dream job?

My dream job is a work in progress right now.  I’m a tax consultant at the moment so I’ve set the bar pretty low anyway – most jobs will seem pretty amazing after this one.

I wouldn’t mind the “best job in the world” (an island caretaker gig that a guy’s doing in Australia – http://www.islandreefjob.com/) or anything that involved being paid to be a tourist really.  I used to be addicted to travel shows and dreamed of being a presenter on one (which would be amazing) but that is not really that realistic.

My dream job in my current career path would be a CEO or CFO for a company that I really care about.  Being in charge, and influencing something that I am passionate about using the skills that I have would be ideal.

So for now, I have some rough ideas but my dream job remains a work in progress – hopefully I figure it out soon so I can start figuring out how to get the job.     

I have a question…for Matt…What would you do if one of Dayna’s brothers bought a Springboks jersey when he was in South Africa?…

WOW Lance – I expected so much better of you. 

I think the only way to make you see the error of your ways is for you to wear that Springboks jersey to an All Blacks home game against South Africa.  We’ll see if you still like your little jersey then…

Oh and I am so going to buy the next Calgary Flames jersey I see.

Only one more week of Movember!  Check out Matt’s MoSpace (he’s got some hilarious photos up) to rate his mo and donate to the cause!

Finally getting around to writing about our weekend!  I don’t know how time seems to go so fast and yet so slow all at the same time! 

Unfortunately, it seems that anywhere I go the internet is really slow and FRUSTRATING so I’m not able to add photos to this post.  You can, however, go to my flickr page and check them out there.(http://www.flickr.com/photos/songsinblue)
 
But yeah, the weekend was a BLAST!  It felt so nice to have a long weekend away with good wine, fun people, and nice weather (for the most part)!
 
We got to our house in Martinborough after work on friday.  It was a pretty chill night with everyone arriving at different times and getting settled in.  There was about 12 of us sharing a 5 (and a 1/2) bedroom house.
 
Matt and I scored the massive king size room with an ensuite on the top floor.  The only problem was that it had 2 sky lights with no curtains so we were awake with the sun at 5:30am every morning!
 
Saturday morning we went for a walk around Martinborough then came back to a sweet lunch spread of dip, cheese and bread-y goodness!  The boys played touch rugby in the yard while us girls tanned and read magazines.  Matt scored a couple tries but ended the game with a broken toe.  I think I could dedicate an entire post to his toe injuries – he should really cut them all off!  The best part of my afternoon was my hour-long nap, A NAP!  It was awesome!
 
Whenever I write a post about weekends away or vacations, I always regret that I didn’t take enough photos.  It’s because I feel like a paparazzi with my SLR and don’t want to make people uncomfortable because there’s a big-ass camera in the room.  I’m going to get over this and start taking more photos…
 
But I digress.
 
Saturday night we had a BBQ (with enough food for an army) and watched the New Zealand vs. Bahrain World Cup qualifier.  My North American friends probably had no idea what that is/that it was happening.  Basically, whoever won that game would play in the Soccer World Cup in South Africa next year. 
I’m not a soccer fan, but the game was so exciting to watch!  And New Zealand ended up winning!  It’s the first time they’ve made it to the World Cup since ‘82 (I think), and it was a really big deal here! (Kinda the same as the Canucks making round 3 of the Playoffs)

Sunday was the actual wine festival.  The weather was perfect besides, you know, GALE FORCE winds.  It didn’t stop us from fully enjoying the day and probably kept us from getting too drunk.  My favourite wine was the Alana Estate Riesling.  If anyone visits me, we will definitely go there for a lunch!  Our programs listed the menu of each vineyard (there were 7 taking part) and we went to one specifically because it had a ‘Diet-be-damned Brownie’.  Worth it.

After listening to a few bands, drinking more wine and bussing to different wineries, we went back to our place and an epic dance party ensued.  There’s a photo of Matt and I having a dance off and we both look pretty intense.  We’re serious about our dance moves, yo!

So the weekend was a complete success!  There wasn’t much drama, no one did anything they regretted (at least I think so) and I’d go again next year in a heart beat!  Anyone want to come with?

I’ve been in a weird head space this week. 

I had my end of year review meeting with my manager today and the first thing she said to me was, “You look numb.”

Funny, I feel numb. 

I got some not-so-great news about work earlier this week and in my normal fashion, I completely shut off and made myself not care.  Without going into too much detail, I was told that because I’m on a contract I don’t qualify for any sort of reward (salary increase, bonus, nothing).  It would’ve been really nice to know this before I worked my ass off for the last year.  Not that it would’ve changed my work ethic AT ALL, but it’s the shock of only finding out now that’s really got me bummed out.  I was doing everything I could to prove that I deserved a raise and even started running a fund all by myself – which isn’t what I was hired to do. 
My manager told me that they wanted to make me permanent for next year and that I’m in a good position to take over a more challenging role but that doesn’t really make me feel any better.  Normally, I could care less about the money and just want to advance my career, but I can’t do that right now.  Plus, it’s like being told you’re worthless – it hurts, yo!

More than anything, I’m ready for a change.  When that doesn’t happen, I feel like I’m not accomplishing anything and my life is pointless.  I get angsty, claustrophobic, and end up really annoying myself (and I’m sure, others). 

But yeah, I’m starting to get over it now and who knows what will happen.  I do love my job and the people I work with so it’s not all bad!

On a brighter note, this weekend is Toast Martinborough.  The actual event isn’t until Sunday, but we’re leaving tonight!  There’s a group of about 12 of us going and we’re staying at this really flash house on a golf course!  There isn’t much planned besides a BBQ and the soccer game Saturday night so it should be a nice relaxing weekend away.  Which will be great after this last week!

What are your weekend plans?